i don't like blue velvet mondays,
pissed from drinking,
thinking about cancer,
feeling sorry for it,
cancer didn’t ask to be
the villain in this story.
when i get older,
losing my hair,
many years from now,
will you still need me?
will you still feed me?
when I’m sixty-three?
we did not sign up for this,
there never was a contract,
a dis agreement,
no we don’t choose to be
who we think we are
even when it’s not true,
ebery time,
that was not a mistake,
ebery time
I just want to lay down,
and cried,
my toe chrondia,
made me do it,
makes me do it,
makes me
makes me do it,
this, is, it.
this is it is a bar,
neon blue and red,
a signal,
a sigil,
THIS IS IT!
Duluth, MN,
January something,
1980 something,
26 age wasteland,
Pabst Blue Ribbon,
Dennis Hopper
standing on top of the sedan
howling at the moon,
rusted metal shell,
a beacon, a nest,
an old heap of scrap,
gorgeous burnt umber,
ochre, ogre, orc, roc,
do we cause our own demise?
were we ever really alive?
a live,
cancer isn’t a disease,
it’s a condition,
waiting to be described,
defined,
defiled,
waiting for…
Godot?
john doe,
johnny get your gun,
johnny was a friend of mine,
who died,
he died,
all my friends who died,
cancer isn’t a disease,
it’s a state of mind,
an addiction,
a prediction,
a foregone collusion,
happy birthday motherfucker,
boo yah!
how old am I again?
how old am I turning?
how old am I burning?
to every season,
burn, burn, burn,
a time to be born,
a time to die,
a time to fill in the blanks,
is there a reason?
if there’s a reason,
it must be cruelty,
it can only be cruelty,
what reason do we need to die?
aye, aye, aye,
and the silicon chip,
inside my head is meant
to overload,
is yet to explode.
majestic terrorism
is on the rise,
antidisestablishment authoritarianism,
is on the rhyzome,
is of the rhyme zone,
do you think this is a joke?
a guy I once knew,
no, I met,
insulted me with a joke,
and then apologized for it
by saying
ninety percent of all jokes are true.
you know what they did in TM?
Trans, and, dental, Mentaltation?
they gave them all
the same secret mantra
and said it was theirs
alone.
how much of that is true?
ninety percent,
ninety percent solution,
the only absolute is that
there is no absolution.
I know why we’re here,
because we want to be,
as simple as that,
but that doesn’t mean
we invited cancer
to the party.
you call this a party?
you call this a disco?
it ain’t none uh that.
tell me why,
boom,
town,
rats,
a bat flew in the window,
circled the room,
before he died,
after the messenger bee,
he’d rather be
in some dark hollow,
where the sun don’t shine,
will the circle
be unbroken?
by and bye
