Goat Song
Pan-ic Terror: a sudden fright with no cause, some old guy singing about death shuts me inside the familiar, fingers squeaking on steel, a hallelujah for forgotten children.
content warning!
a virus lies ahead.
nineteen is a fraction.
measles, mumps, rubella.
covert vaccination fascination.
that day on the beach - deja vu - the explanation is the experience manifest - the explanation is a lie - everything is a lie - anything that's ever happened - to anyone - at any point in history or time - I can feel it all.
fuck fate.
noli me tangere - touch me not,
exploding pods scatter the seeds
when touched.
trying to figure out what note
is ringing in my head.
should i stick a tuning fork
in my ear?
sitting sah-zen,
fawn or flea,
hot pajamas.
"they said the ant man came and took him away, that aint no ant, not with a head like that."
"don't matter what they call him, he comin’ with a caterpillow, he always watchin'."
"that big like an elephant, that funny elephant head, ant man cook him."
"runny head like that, they said aint that, naw."
"naw, they said that."
"naw neither."
sound of a train.
alliteration
obliteration.
absolved,
the puzzle is solved.
rotation is the key
to our salvation.
thus spake Al.
Pan-ic Terror:
a sudden fright with no cause,
some old guy singing about death
shuts me inside the familiar,
fingers squeaking on steel,
a hallelujah for forgotten children.
nanny goat beard on his chin,
finger pulled and twisted,
side-eyed sighing song,
a white lie t’ease the pain
of beginning at last,
again.
under the Pangaean Sea,
Pan Gyrenic Pangoli,
marimba
song for the prized goat,
a tragical chorus,
pan-hoofed satyrical
stage frightened facing
the proscenium archery,
prisoner pacing perimeter,
climbing the black wings,
ascending frenzied stage light,
stage fright,
stage light.
spit lip babbling
to himself, his audience
of wonder.
skeleton boy on the side of the tracks carrying curses in his pocket of letters.
carrying curses.
curses.
curs.
shadows of dancers,
satanic panic,
this my goat song began.
this is my goat song.
goat song
in a field of bourbon-aged dreaming,
abandoned, blackened,
sheltered in a storm of
confusion,
following my shadow forward,
falling toward,
facing forward,
following
future, falling behind me,
the young boy trapped
in the old man's body
desperately dying to get out,
desperately dying
of remembering the fall,
remembering the fall,
the original fall,
facing the dirt packed snow,
angel faced,
a hand down into the sand.
a corral of goats,
goat tribe goat trip,
goat girl is a doe,
mother is a nanny,
baby is a kid,
born standing up,
born running.
buck or billy,
all-fertile Pan,
king and father of the universe,
the demi urge to run,
forever dwelling in solitary,
space,
in a cave,
cave exterior and superficial,
parts are pleasant,
the interior is obscure,
hidden, dark,
mysterious scary.
facing front, the proscenium
arch is pleasant,
the view from behind is sinister,
so it is with goat,
with a life,
Pan is Jove,
By Jove is the World!
the horned serpent.
the horny toad.
the two-faces
remembering.
the fall.
the two-faced dog.
Recadrus!
Recadrus!
Recadrus!